Ask Nous is a dedicated space to ask for relationship, career, family or why doesn’t coffee start with a “k”? Kinda query. If you need any help, but value your privacy, then we’re here to hear you! 

 If you’ve got any queries you can follow this link “Ask Nous” to get personalized solutions. We hope to help out in the best possible way! And the best part is your identity will never be revealed! You’ll be anonymous and you can either ask him or ask her (yes we’ve got both- ADAM and EVE’s point of view under one roof).

Here are some of the questions asked by our readers, on relationships and how they were advised by Nous (advisors)- Him and Her.

Q. Is it wrong to think of dating your best friend? Age: 19, Female, Ask Him.

A. “Dating my Best Friend”…. Well that sounds pretty interesting. Though it’s way too common sometimes still…. It’s interesting! But is it wrong? Best friends are someone who are actually really close to us…. More than even family…  Isn’t your best friend the one who brings out a smile over you face when you’re in a bad mood? Isn’t that your best friend who gets to know how your feeling or what you’re thinking before you even tell him??

If your answer is YES, then I have got one last question for you. Who according to you must deserve the chance to be with you for an eternity (Sorry! I just wanted to sound a bit dramatic n theatrical)? What qualities would you seek for?  Don’t be afraid of the stuff like what will be the consequences. Well if something like that is cooking up in your head then tell me what if you fly? What if he is the ultimate one? There is nothing wrong in it…. You can go ahead and tell him.


Q. I have been dating a girl. She is nice and very fun but I feel she is fading away. I give her surprises and I try to fascinate her but nothing seems to work. I have talked to her about this but she says everything is fine. What should I do? Age: 21, Male, Ask Her

A. I would like to mention that you seem like a pretty sweet guy, nowadays guys noticing small changes in their girl’s behavior are pretty rare. Your girl is very lucky to have you. Though, there are a few possibilities as to why your girl is behaving in this way

She might be under a lot of stress, she is not able to handle your expectations and other work expectations. May be she just wants you to support her, no questions asked. Sometimes us girls tend to do that, in that case, you don’t need to worry, give her space she’ll come around.

She might have started to take you a little for granted and there are other things that she has prioritized over you. I know it sounds pretty bad but if you are showing efforts and she is not recognizing it then you need to clearly talk to her and find where you are on her priority scale.

The third and mostly found possibility is that you are over analyzing, she might be having one off day and you may have over reacted a little.

In a relationship, just your being there should be enough for your partner, the need for doing special things should come from your heart and not on realizing that something is wrong.


Q. I think I am in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. What should i do? I really need your help. Age: 14, Can’t Say, Ask Her

A: Well there are numerous things that you can do about it. But like I said before it completely depends on how you take it. What your priorities are?

1) First, you need to think again at the core point of your question i.e. ‘Do you really love the guy?’ or is it just mere infatuation. Whenever we are in such kind of a phase we never look at the situation logically. So it’s really important that you give yourself time to think about the details.

2) Now if you are sure that you are in love with the guy, you need to prioritize things a bit and that’s really important. Is it really important for you that the guy should know about your feelings as soon as possible or can you wait till the things start turning in your favor?

3) If the above is not the case, you can have patience and let things the way they are. Cause if you truly love that person it won’t matter “that much” if you get to stay with the guy or not.

It doesn’t mean I am asking you to go ahead and move on. No, no, no, nonononono…. I am saying that in case if you have that thing in you to love that guy without expectations and you are worried that it will hurt you or it might fade away then, I’ll just ask you to remember that why you even started to love him. Otherwise, if you think you’re gonna hurt hard, try to on. All the Best!


Q. My bf is overprotective for me n I don’t like that. What should I do? I’ve told him but he doesn’t understand. Age:18, Female, Ask Him.

A:  We boys always live in some or other kind of misconceptions and the biggest one is ‘ I am the stronger one in this relationship so I need to always protect and take care of my girl.’ Good thought indeed but this thought too has its boundaries and that your boyfriend needs to understand.

So the next big question is that how on earth can we make your boyfriend understand. You’ll go and try to talk to him again. But this time you’re gonna be a little less stern. Tell him that you really appreciate his concern about you and your safety but sometimes due to this excessive concern you feel restricted.

Go ahead, go positive and try to make him understand. Tell him that you do agree to whatsoever he says regarding your safety but sometimes it gets too much that you get refrained from doing other stuff too that are important to you. And if he doesn’t listen to you, ‘Question Him’. Ask him if in some way or the other you to restrict him from doing some stuff the that are important to him from the concerned point of view, will that be right

Q. How can a person overcome the feeling of rejection in a relationship? Age 20, Female, Ask Him

A: “Rejection in a relationship”. Well, it does seem like a pretty serious issue but we will try to make it simple.

Suppose if this rejection or what you call ‘the Break-Up; wouldn’t have happened, what do you think would have been the scenario then? You might have stayed with that guy and be in a relationship. Things might have gone smoothly for some time and then what?

Can u accept to live with someone who will ignore you all the time? You have got friend right, we all have friends, and how does it feel when they keep whispering in between themselves about us? So never think that you were not good enough. You can handle anything. You are strong enough to do anything you want. Keep no doubt that you’re going to stumble upon.

Now what the things you need to do to handle the rejection? Well, there is a plethora of stuff you can do… I would advise you to meet new people and have good conversations. Try to focus on your goals. Invest in yourself. Create the better version, 2.0 of yourself. In short, make yourself your priority and trust me, in the end, you’ll be great.


Q. Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden? Age: 20, Male

A: Relationships are pretty fragile like a glass but if the roots placed are right then it can be as strong as the incredible hulk. Coming to your question, I don’t personally believe in keeping secrets. If you are in a relation, both the people should be able to accept each other as they are.

Your partner is the one person with whom you should not have to be someone else.  And the need of keeping secrets from him/her raises a red flag.  If he/she is not able to accept decisions that you made in your life then you should be the one questioning whether the person you are with is right for you. It doesn’t mean that your partner is a bad person but if he/she is the right person for you, he/she should be able to digest the realities of your life.

Secrets have a way of coming out! It can be today, tomorrow or 10 years later but they usually come out. So it’s better to rip off the bandage yourself then let somebody else do it for you. The damage done will certainly be less.


If you’ve got any queries you can follow this link “Ask Nous” to get personalized solutions. We hope to help out in the best possible way! And the best part is your identity will never be revealed! You’ll be anonymous and you can either ask him or ask her (yes we’ve got both- ADAM and EVE’s point of view under one roof).

TEAM AFFLATUS

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Author: Sargam Palod

Compassionate, perseverant and adventurous (almost all the times). Also, I revel in reading, traveling, Irish coffee and learning something new every day.

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