The best way to raise a big fat liar is to make sure that you overprotect, over- control and over- console your child.
Parents are protective, caring and soft with regard to their child. Everyone knows this. But constant supervision of a child by parents even for petty affairs and keep questioning everything, keeping a tap on child’s EACH AND EVERY movement is known as over-protectiveness. There’s a thin line between being protective and overtly doing it thus making it interfering, should not parents need to understand this? Somebody has well said, ‘How much of nature and how much of nurture is required’. Where, for sure, some things must be taught to children, at the same time some things should be left to let them learn on their own. But in the pressure of teaching their child everything and thus making him/her perfect, parents become over-protective and over-engaging in a child’s life.
Studies have confirmed that overprotective parents raise the best liars. In other words, children of overprotective parents are good at keeping secrets and lying to their parents to hide the truth. Over-protectiveness, many – times can be irritating for the child and end up causing stress and tension. Also, it is because of this over protection that a child opts to lie to his parents. Lying once, lying twice, lying thrice and they end up making a way through lying. It is noticed that overprotected children have the worse relationship with their parents.
What parents think they are doing?
It’s obvious of parents getting worried about their child. And that’s why we often call kids as clay because they can be moulded easily. But do not parent often get confused between being overprotective and caring? And that’s why parents do not find anything wrong in overprotecting his/her child. If they are not concerned their child might choose the wrong path. Parents feel overly protective towards their kids and wish to control every aspect of their lives, fearing dangers such as drugs, alcohol, violence in schools, teenage pregnancies and paedophiles. Overprotective parents constantly supervise their child and keep an eye on each and every activity performed by them. This protectiveness makes them keep questioning child even for petty affairs and with this arise the trust issues between them and lack of trust on children might raise a big fat liar. Overprotecting parents think that their child can’t handle their life on their own so, they try to protect their children from all bad things. Overall, in their view, they are not doing anything which can create trouble in near future and they are just caring parents.
How over protectiveness becomes obnoxious for children?
As children grow, they want total independence to create their own identity and live their life. Parents may be over-protective towards their kids and want to control every aspect of their life. Children find over- protectiveness very irritating. Over- protectiveness leads children to think that their parents don’t trust them and yes, it’s obvious. Parents themselves may think that they have a control on child and they know everything about their child’s life, but that’s not the truth when children notice that their parents are overly involved in their life, they start hiding things and many times they lie to their parents. Kids that grow in an over-protective environment are found to be the best liars, good at hiding things and making fool of their family. Children become frustrated with this over-protectiveness shown by their parents.
So, Parents need to understand the line between caring and being over-protective towards their child.
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