Have you spent time with a little kid recently? They are the most beautiful living creatures you could ever come across. They are the purest form of humans. They are not biased towards anything. They see the world through virgin and hopeful eyes. They are eager to learn and do new things. They don’t think about what society is going to say.
When we were young, we loved people who smiled and kissed us. We avoided the ones who tried to scare us. We didn’t search for hidden objectives. We ate, drank, slept and played whenever we wanted to. We were not tied to the general notions of the society. Whenever a new problem or pain arose, we tend to stumble, but we didn’t give up. Yes, it is true that Life was more comfortable when we were young.
As we grew up, started believing in structures of our society, we tend to form opinions, judging people on different parameter. External influences began to cloud our judgment. We began to doubt and question our decisions. As we grew up our problems start to grow as well, but rather than solving the problem that we are facing, we avoided it all together.
As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and overshadowed our pain. We worked overtime on purpose to avoid returning home early. We started holding grudges against people who have been associated with us, and subtly demeaning others to get ahead in life. And when all of this didn’t work out as we planned, we started using lies to cover up lies and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves happy.
Why are we trying so hard to be accepted by our family, friends, colleague, and this abnormal society? Why are we searching for love, hope, and happiness in others? Why are we living a life to please others so we can be happy? We are ready to change our attitude, style, and way of thinking just for a mere approval, WHY?
We have left our passions on the bay and started looking for a regular 9 to 5 job only to be accepted by the society. To look normal. We all know the things, we love to do. But we are not strong enough to pursue it as career. “What will the society think”, this statement has made all of us a disabled soul. We are giving up way too early and way too easily. Think, how many dreams you gave up without putting the first step in that direction. The conventional norms overpowered all that crazy ideas of being a cricketer, footballer, writer, chef. This urge of showing the society that you are the best on the block, will not let you anywhere. All children need the encouragement and unconditional love of their parents as well as guidance and help in times of need. All children deserve to feel connected to and supported by the adults in their lives. Life isn’t ideal, and family life isn’t ideal.
The biggest lesson to be learned is that “YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE’S APPROVAL THAN YOUR OWN”. Be proud of your accomplishment. Be proud that you didn’t give up.
Our environment today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations. We want to be happier, smarter. Be the best, way better than others. Be smarter, sexier, slimmer, more popular, more admired, and more loved. Be perfect and amazing and crap out 24 karat gold nuggets before breakfast, enjoy our morning while kissing our selfie-ready spouse. Then fly our helicopter to our fantastic, fulfilling job, where we spend our day doing incredibly meaningful work that is likely to save the planet.
But when we stop and start thinking about this crap, general life advice – all the positive and happy stuff we hear – it is focussing us on things we lack. We focus on the personal shortcomings and failure we already have. We start to learn about the different ways to make money because we feel we don’t have enough of it already. We stand in front of the mirror and repeat affirmations that we are beautiful because we feel as though we are not.
This fixation on the positive-on what’s better, what’s superior-only reminded us over and over again of what we are not, what we lack, of what we should have been but failed to be.
We are always searching for the answers only we can give to our self. For much of our lives especially at the very beginning, we were told what to do, how to think, how to looks good, what “success” really means, etc.
Feel free to peel back the layers. Think about yourself. Listen to your inner voice. Break the pattern of living. When we stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following our passion, then we will find what exactly we are living for. As long as we are not hurting anyone else emotions, live your life your way. Sometimes you will get stuck in a dilemma trying to live like someone else, trying to meet expectations that are enforced upon us.
Take a moment. Think about it. Are you doing things that you believe in?
Read More: A teacher in disguise…