Have you spent time with a little kid recently? They are the most beautiful living creatures you could ever come across. They are the purest form of humans. They are not biased towards anything. They see the world through virgin and hopeful eyes. They are eager to learn and do new things. They don’t think about what society is going to say.


When we were young, we loved people who smiled and kissed us. We avoided the ones who tried to scare us. We didn’t search for hidden objectives. We ate, drank, slept and played whenever we wanted to. We were not tied to the general notions of the society. Whenever a new problem or pain arose, we tend to stumble, but we didn’t give up.  Yes, it is true that Life was more comfortable when we were young.

As we grew up, started believing in structures of our society, we tend to form opinions, judging people on different parameter. External influences began to cloud our judgment. We began to doubt and question our decisions. As we grew up our problems start to grow as well, but rather than solving the problem that we are facing, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and overshadowed our pain.  We worked overtime on purpose to avoid returning home early. We started holding grudges against people who have been associated with us, and subtly demeaning others to get ahead in life. And when all of this didn’t work out as we planned, we started using lies to cover up lies and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves happy.

Why are we trying so hard to be accepted by our family, friends, colleague, and this abnormal society? Why are we searching for love, hope, and happiness in others? Why are we living a life to please others so we can be happy? We are ready to change our attitude, style, and way of thinking just for a mere approval, WHY?

We have left our passions on the bay and started looking for a regular 9 to 5 job only to be accepted by the society. To look normal. We all know the things, we love to do. But we are not strong enough to pursue it as career. “What will the society think”, this statement has made all of us a disabled soul. We are giving up way too early and way too easily. Think, how many dreams you gave up without putting the first step in that direction.  The conventional norms overpowered all that crazy ideas of being a cricketer, footballer, writer, chef. This urge of showing the society that you are the best on the block, will not let you anywhere. All children need the encouragement and unconditional love of their parents as well as guidance and help in times of need. All children deserve to feel connected to and supported by the adults in their lives. Life isn’t ideal, and family life isn’t ideal. 


The biggest lesson to be learned is that “YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE’S APPROVAL THAN YOUR OWN”Be proud of your accomplishment. Be proud that you didn’t give up.

Our environment today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations. We want to be happier, smarter. Be the best, way better than others. Be smarter, sexier, slimmer, more popular, more admired, and more loved. Be perfect and amazing and crap out 24 karat gold nuggets before breakfast, enjoy our morning while kissing our selfie-ready spouse. Then fly our helicopter to our fantastic, fulfilling job, where we spend our day doing incredibly meaningful work that is likely to save the planet.

But when we stop and start thinking about this crap, general life advice – all the positive and happy stuff we hear – it is focussing us on things we lack. We focus on the personal shortcomings and failure we already have. We start to learn about the different ways to make money because we feel we don’t have enough of it already. We stand in front of the mirror and repeat affirmations that we are beautiful because we feel as though we are not.

This fixation on the positive-on what’s  better, what’s superior-only reminded us over and over again of what we are not, what we lack, of what we should have been but failed to be.

We are always searching for the answers only we can give to our self. For much of our lives especially at the very beginning, we were told what to do, how to think, how to looks good, what “success” really means, etc.

Feel free to peel back the layers. Think about yourself.  Listen to your inner voice.  Break the pattern of living.  When we stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following our passion, then we will find what exactly we are living for. As long as we are not hurting anyone else emotions, live your life your way. Sometimes you will get stuck in a dilemma trying to live like someone else, trying to meet expectations that are enforced upon us.

Take a moment. Think about it. Are you doing things that you believe in?

 

Read More:  A teacher in disguise…

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Author: Abhishek Thakur

Dreamer, Meticulous, Good Listener, Conscientious. Perfectly imperfect. Want to choose Entrepreneurship over Employment.

6 Replies to “Why are we making our life so tough to live?

  1. Very nice and reality-based…. “What will the society think”, all r think about it,…… They do not do satisfactory job. Only for one thing that is…,, “What will the society think”,

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  2. Nice sir
    lyf is too mysterious can’t say Much about it but yes whole story of lyf depends upon d person , how the person takes his lyf & when he choose ryt tym for ryt things.
    Allll….d Bst.

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  3. Very deep and insightful thoughts there. Kids are innocuous even when they apparently do something wrong because their actions are perceived to be not clouded by someone else’s expectations. But the question has to be asked that what actually is coercing people to live someone else’s lives or what is clouding their judgement to not to pursue their own dreams? Being from manufacturing background, all our focus is on finding the most economical, safe and technically feasible solution. Then you’ll ask, “then what is the solution to this social dilemma?” The answer lies in the psychology of everyday things. I would like to take an example of doors. Yes the hiccup that we probably face the highest number of times in our lives. Technically a door is nothing but a mechanism that facilitates our in-and-out movement but then why we push doors that are meant to be pulled, pull doors that should be pushed, and walk into doors that neither pull nor push, but slide. We are not to be blamed for these mistakes but the maker of such doors, that are surely not in love with making doors. Had the maker loved making doors, he would have not only ensured to put the basic ‘push’ or ‘pull’ or slide ‘left’ or ‘right’ signifiers, but he would also take care of the ergonomic aspects like the orientation or positioning of handles so that it could be accessed by the old and the young alike. Steve Jobs in THAT famous interview insisted that we must find something that we love unconditionally. His love for calligraphy became fodder for his ever-increasing curiosity in software development. My teacher and mentor Abhinav Jha of Drift Racing was doing civil engineering at NIT when ic engines caught his imagination. He dropped out, formed a team and lead them to being the only Indian team in FSAE history ever to won the best design award. Ronaldo was slight in his formative years and everybody wrote him off initially but his love for Football stood the test of times and he developed into a world-beater. Swami Vivekananda and Lord Hanuman were in love with the social work. Many more inferences can be taken from the lives of these and other great men and women. Closer to us we can think of the unconditional love our very own parents have for us. Being responsible, never have they burdened us with their own expectations and instead have given a free hand to do anything we like. They gave us the platform that they were never afforded in their adolescence and who knows what might have been had it been so. Reading the article has brought back the memories when i was confused and had to choose. We all have to at some point, its only normal. When a goal is set, there are no more clouds, life is sunny, there is vigor to face storms, alacrity to overcome complacency, and brevity to take on the most complex problems. We don’t need miracles to make things work in life but the simple mechanism of nock, draw, and loose!
    Best Wishes and “YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE!”

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