Reactive Attachment Disorder is described as a condition in which the adult cannot form lasting intimate relationships with individuals. They seem to have lost the ability to emotionally connect with people and be affectionate. They fail to develop trust and understanding towards another individual.
Reactive Attachment Disorder in children is seen, but in some cases, it continues too. The security of a child-parent relationship in early stages of life, determines in a certain way, the further relationships in the later stages of our life. The intimacy then maintained, determines the security of our relationships now. Different parenting styles bring forth different types of attachment styles in children. Harmful relationships in childhood dis-balances the intimate relations we have as an adult. Parents are the mirror of the world to a child, and that is how the child knows about the people of the world. The adult will shut himself up from all the great relationships in his life if he is attached insecurely from his parents. He would be so afraid that he would lose people before people leave him.
People with this disorder are unable to control their physical actions and emotions. They will have traits like stealing, obvious lying, will be hyperactive (might have ADHD), loss control on speech sometimes, lack of eye contact while in a conversation
These people will have an ego higher than normal. They will reject every perspective other than their own. This becomes the reason why their temper always remains high. If they out-break their threshold point, they might get really aggressive even towards people they love. They might be destructive to self or materials around them.
While in an intimate relationship, they will tend to show the peak of affection at the start and when the graph goes up, but when it hits bottom, they will show no or less attention. They will tend to break the relations before their partners do so. Being insecurely attached to their partners, they will be highly possessive about them and will lose trust and understanding towards them. Hence, without the foundation, the building falls.
Lack Of Conscience
In the phase of bad relationships, temper and insecurity, they tend to lose the ability to separate the right from wrong. They will always be ready to justify what they did, whether good or bad. There would be no sign of guilt.
Lack Of affection Towards Parents
They would be the ‘non-cuddly’ child who would not appreciate receiving and giving any kind of physical affection. They will disapprove of any kind of physical (or even emotional) contact with parents and will have different styles of affection towards them.
Other Abnormal Habits
They might have a learning lag, poor peer relations, lack of cause-effect learning, and engagement with fire, blood or gore. They might have an issue in communication; might either be talkative or silent when not required.
Communication Is The Key
Communication has led to the solution of many questions that arise in the field of disorders. People suffering from attachment disorder should communicate their views with a trusted individual (maybe their partner). Be readily available to solve the conflict that is disturbing to them. The partner should communicate with them and make them feel secure.
Point out Their Mistakes
Tell them to own up their mistakes and make them right. Tell them that it is normal to make mistakes and hurt because we only hurt the people we love. Tell them that they are loved in spite of all the mistakes they did in past, and they will always be.
Identification and expression of Emotion
It is important for them to know what they actually feel for a person, and it is equally important to realize that these emotions are real. If they love someone wholeheartedly, tell them that it takes efforts from their side too to continue feeling that way. This way, they might get towards positive emotions and hence be pessimistic about relationships.
Engagement in activities
They should have a way to vent out pumped up emotions. The productive way of doing this would be through activities they like. For example, writers like to vent out their emotions by writing to themselves. There are options like painting, music, sports, travelling, etc.
Diet and Sleep Patterns
Two most under-talked methods which to some point cure all the disorders. A balanced diet helps the hormones intact and hence gives a positive effect on emotions. Sleep, on the other hand, rejuvenates the mind and helps in clearer thinking.
Many won’t take it, but attachment disorder is a thing.
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