Lifestyle, Opinions, Relatable

She said, “I like Men… and Women”

7-6 MINS READ
by Haripriya

Today evening, Me and Meera went to the temple. We were about to climb the stairs and there came a woman from neighborhood in the way. “You can’t enter into the temple! Go away from here.” She said. “Excuse me?” I said. “You are bisexual. That’s a sin. You will influence the place and people, better get to your house.”, She said to Meera. “But who are you to tell me this? Temple is a religious place where anyone can come, no one has the right to discriminate like you’re doing.” Meera replied. The argument continued for about another 10 minutes resulting into us going back home without entering the temple.

Yes, Meera is a bisexual person. I came to know about this the night before yesternight. We were having supper on dining table where her phone vibrated and she took it and went to the bedroom. Her expressions conveyed that something unusual was going on. I followed her and gave my ear to the door. “Babe, I know I’m in a ‘thing’ with him but trust me I won’t ever let you down. I love you too.” were her words, they made me furious. Before I leave from there, she suddenly wide opened the door and caught me there, frightened.

I asked, “Care to tell me what’s going on?” She replied, “Look honey, I was about to discuss this-“, “I asked what’s going on! Who was on the call? What’s his name?”, I shouted. She said, “Actually… it.. it was not him.. but her.” That surprised me. “Whaaat?!”, “Yeah.. Umm.. I like men.. And women.” I left.

That night I found about her bisexuality. I was more of confused than shocked. I had two options from there. First, leave her and move on; second, continue the relation and share her with another woman. I thought over it thoroughly and decided not to leave her. I love her because what she is as a person, not because of her hetero/homo/bi-sexuality. Yeah, it doesn’t feel the same as to be in relationship with straight person. But, it’s not really tough to be in relation with a bisexual person. You just have to compromise a little with time and circumstances as they are engaged with 2 at a time. Once I read on tumblr that Bisexuality is the ability to reach down someone’s pants and be satisfied with whatever you find. But, on researching about it, I found this…

What is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality means romantic or sexual attraction towards both men and women. It is also known as Pansexuality. It means that the bisexual person gets attracted towards any human regardless of the  gender. It is one of the category of sexual orientation. Others are homosexuality, heterosexuality and asexuality.

Traits of a bisexual person

A bisexual identity does not necessarily equate to equal sexual attraction to each gender. Commonly, people who have a distinct but not exclusive sexual preference for one sex over the other also identify themselves as bisexual. Sexual attraction, behavior and identity may also be incongruent, as sexual attraction or behavior may not necessarily be consistent with identity. Bisexual person desires more of sex and erotic pleasure than homosexual. Some sources state that bisexuality encompasses romantic or sexual attraction to all gender identities or that it is romantic or sexual attraction to a person irrespective of that person’s gender, equating it pansexuality.

Studies about bisexuality:

In a study about sexual identity development among lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) youths, Rosario et al. found evidence of both considerable consistency and change in LGB sexual identity over time. Youths who had identified as both gay/lesbian and bisexual prior to baseline were approximately three times more likely to identify as gay/lesbian than as bisexual at subsequent assessments. Whereas on the other side, a study by Lisa M. Diamond showed that “bisexual/unlabeled women had stable overall distributions of same-sex/other-sex attractions.” and “almost as many men transitioned at some point from a gay identity to a bisexual, queer or unlabeled one, as did from a bisexual identity to a gay identity.”

Kinsey Scale:

In the 1940s, the zoologist Alfred Kinsey created a scale to measure the continuum of sexual orientation from heterosexuality to homosexuality. According to him, people have the capability of being hetero- or homosexual even if this trait does not present itself in the current circumstances. The Kinsey scale is used to describe a person’s sexual experience or response at a given time. It ranges from 0, that is exclusively heterosexual, to 6, that is exclusively homosexual. People who rank anywhere from 2 to 4 are often considered bisexual. The sociologists Martin S. Weinberg and Colin J. Williams write that, in principle, people who rank anywhere from 1 to 5 could be considered bisexual.

Theories (Biological reasons):

Sexual orientation is not determined by any one factor but by a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences. There are probably many reasons for a person’s sexual orientation and the reasons may differ from person to person. Usually, it is determined at an early age. Humans having excess of sex hormones shows bisexuality. Excess of testosterones are responsible for Fe-Fe attraction (sex fantasy) in adults. Women are more likely to be found bisexual than men. There’s the difference of masculinization of women (hypermasculinization of men).

Homosexuals have more of personal insecurities than bisexuals. These people are the main and wide targets of prejudice from straights and a little from homosexuals too. For most bisexual women, high sex drive is associated with increased sexual attraction to both women and men; while for bisexual men, high sex drive is associated with increased attraction to one sex, and weakened attraction to the other.

Social Impacts, Perception and Discrimination:

Usually, people assume bisexual as homosexual. But no, they ain’t the same. Just because these identities can’t find them compatible in ‘gay/lesbian community’ or under straight category, they are been considered as ‘invisible’. A number of women who were at one time involved in lesbian-feminist activism have since come out as bisexual after realizing their attractions to men. Bisexual people faces exclusion from both homosexual and heterosexual society on coming out. Commonly, male bisexuality is particularly presumed to be non-existent. These social tensions and pressure may affect bisexuals’ mental health, and specific therapy methods have been developed for bisexuals to address this concern.

So, I believe that the society is going to criticize bisexuals anyhow. We do not need to frighten them. Rather, take a stand for you or your bisexual relative because if not now then never. Though, in past years, a drastic change has been noticed in society about the views for bisexual identities. People have gradually started accepting them as normal and pure just like straight humans.

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